I was reading your past blog entries...
Now i realised how much i hurt you in the past...
I know its not enough...
But...
I'm really sorry...
(i don't know how many times i said that to you le... i doubt it means anything to you le)

I think maybe this was a whole entire mistake...
The relationship was a mistake...
It was my mistake to have come into the picture...
Like when it all started...
You was breaking with him..
I was on a rebound...
We were both low and needed somebody...
And somehow it was at the same timing...
And we just grabbed anyone who was convienient...

I remember sometime ago...
The memories at sunplaza park...
Me running through that obstacle course...
Kept each other company the entire afternoon...
The times when i tried to sell you away
hahaha...
And my silly idea of staying over for the camp in school...
I realised that i've rushed into the relationship too fast le...
But i really can't help it...
It was very natural for me...
It was the trait of an aquarian...
Always rushing into relationships...
I think we've rushed into something without ample thought...
And i think this is the consequences of the mistakes that we make..

I'm calm now...
I'm beginning to think why...
Actually like i asked you why you want to be with me...
And i asked myself the same question...
And i realised that we both could not give an answer...

No... I don't wish to make any of us feel guilty...
Neither do i wish to see any of us crying...
I feel that the whole problem is getting out of control...
I feel myself getting out of control...
On one instance i was even on the verge of punching my brother's face in..
I was so furious...
I was jealous...
MAN... WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!???
THAT'S MY BROTHER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT...
MY BUDDY...
MY PAL...
HOW COULD I EVEN THOUGHT OF DOING THAT...
I seriously regretted....
Its in me for the rest of my life...
I can never forget that incident...

I think i'm not suitable to be in a relationship yet...
I'll just cause hurt to the people around me...
I think that is my reason for asking for a separation...
Lets all not be troubled by this matter...
You're having your major exams this year...
I don't wish you to be distracted...
Furthermore...
You have problems of your own...
All that i can say is that...
They're your family...
They love you for more than they ever could...
It really is stressful for your father...
He's trying his best to support the family...
Give him some time...
Actually...
I have some savings of my own...
I can give you my world...
All you need is just to ask...
I don't expect anything now...
All i want is just to see you happy...



But...
Until, i learn to love myself...