I'm feeling torn apart... i'm still thinking about it... i told farhan about it... i think i'll ask him what i should do... i think i'm being totally unfair to the both of them... i can't let this go on.... its breaking me.... i'm currently trying my best to keep out of it... but i really can't go on like this... it'll just cause more hurt, pain and suffering... i feel like i want to disappear from this planet... just leave everything behind and disperse into the mist.... but i'll miss everything... i'm totally confused... i want to leave but at the same time want to treasure the moments... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
why is this magnetic field such a powerful thing? it can lift me up to the highest skies at the same time drop me down into the furthest depths.... now i'm falling.... i don't know how deep this hole is... all that i see is the passing dirt and soil rising at the fastest speeds i feel the wind against me... everything seem to move past me... but in fact i'm the one that's really moving.... ="(
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i really can't let this go on.... i really got to find a solution.... ...... but all that's in my mind is putting down everything... really.... how i wish to just disappear.... like dan say.... its just so easy.... change handphone number... e-mail add... and i'll be gone... but i don't whether i'll be able to do it or not.... its also really not me to do this.... i've tried it once.... i regretted it totally.... i was seriously depressed then... but i know i'm still thinking straight now.... i'm not going to let this happen again..... whatever it is i still got to find a solution.... i really need advice.... the people who know what i'm talking about please... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...